hurray, making everyone mad!

I’m headed back to Boston in the morning, where I will have two days alone, without internet or television, until Frank returns from his business trip.  I would just wait to fly up until Saturday except — oh wait — the airlines suck.  Can we PLEASE return to regulated airlines?  Because I think it is safe to say that non-regulation has crashed and BURNED every single person trying to fly nowadays.

Aside from not looking forward to being totally alone for two days (which I used to enjoy, but now I’m in one of my super-social phases, plus the whole no-tv-or-internet makes it worse), it doesn’t feel right leaving home yet.  Not that much is going on here.   I worked for three weeks.  Watched a movie with the boys once, went out with Chrissy I think twice, aside from Frank being here this past weekend (which was great!).  I’ve seen my dad like three times in the month I’ve been home.  I can’t get a job because I’m not here much longer, and it’s too hot to go outside.  So basically I’ve been sitting in the house and going to the gym — occasionally doing a bit of writing.  So the plan is to go back to  Boston for a week and a half, then come home for another two weeks, during which I’ll have a family reunion and my annual friend trip to the river.  Then I’ll be back in Boston, hopefully working for a month before moving into the new apartment and starting school.

It occurs to me that this is my last summer spending any great length of time home, and I’m not ready to accept that yet.  I love Texas, and I love doing nothing with my family, and I love my home.  Granted, I’ll finagle a way to come home for a couple weeks hopefully.  I realize it’s illogical, but leaving tomorrow has me feeling like I’m going to be missing out on precious moments at home.  I ALWAYS feel that way, either way, whether I’m leaving Boston or leaving home.  But it’s impossible not to feel left out when I know things are going on at home without me, but at the same time, things are going on with Frank in Boston and I want to be there with him, too.  Basically, I can be in Boston doing stuff with Frank and his friends, or I can be here with my family doing nothing.  I don’t like having to choose.

Like I said, I’m blowing the entire thing out of proportion and actually was pretty upset about it earlier.  My now-uncertainty about my future has me wobbly when I had my post-school life all planned out.  This new way of doing loans (that I have to make interest payments and a principal payment WHILE in school — which I can’t afford) has me stressed out about work.  My BFA thesis needs to be in the works, and looming graduation (10 mos. away, but still!) has me anxious about ending another stage of youth.  I’m not ready to be a grown-up yet, and I’m not ready to give up my home in Texas and my time with family to just do nothing, but everything in the world is propelling me forward.  Typically I’m all for that, but sometimes I wish I could just freeze time.  I’m not okay with the sacrifices that have to be made in order to become an adult — but all this being mandatory.

Flights tomorrow are bad.  I’m trying for the 6:35am, and there’s the chance I’ll make it, but there’s also the chance I’ll be sitting around in the airport all day.  If I’m not going to be at home, I’m ready to be in Boston; I hate spending FOREVER in airports.

I know once I’m in Boston, I’ll be happy about regaining my independence.  I’ll probably spend tomorrow night writing and watching movies — I’ll still have my DVD player. I can go to Trident Cafe if I get lonely, because there are people AND free wifi there.  I’ve got a couple things for the new apartment hopefully that I’ll go pick up, and I’ll go for a walk since the weather is MUCH cooler there (though I am NOT looking forward to giving up the sunshine nor cutting temperatures in half.  50s and 60s?!  I want 70s and 80s!)  I need to get stuff done on my BFA thesis, and I’ll be job hunting, and I’ll see if I can still gain access to the school gym.  And there are still a few friends in Boston I can look up.

I’m always either itching to get going or desperate to stay put.  And right now I am feeling lazy and sentimental and already homesick . . . but I’ll be home in a week and a half!  I realize it’s not like I’ll NEVER be home again.  Sometimes I am just absurd, I know this.  I’m just in a mood . . .

Anyway.  Right now, I am going to go update my wishlist page with all the stuff I need for the new apartment.  So, you know, if you just HAPPEN to have something lying around, or just HAPPEN to want to give me a gift . . . well, I sure won’t stop you!

resume building

It is not fun.  I realized it’s important I have a resume, or at least a grand master resume so that I can easily copy and paste to make a specific-job resume.

My resume includes education, theatre-related work, published writing, published photographs, and actual jobs so far.  And it kind of looks ridiculous.  My high school awards take up four lines and I only did awards from the last two years — AND I think I’m forgetting some.  My extracurriculars take up another four lines — and this is all size 10 font.  What a joke.  Did I just not sleep in high school?  I asked Mom and she said, “Well you were always on the go.”  No wonder I was so burned out by the time I hit college!

Anyway, I’m using my boyfriend’s resume as a guide, but I’m having to just wing it on the theatre, writing, and photography sections and make up my own formatting.  And it’s just making me realize how LAME I am about not submitting my work.  This section definitely needs to get bigger; I’m going to submit like crazy for the next few months.  Cross your fingers/pray for me, please!

But that’s what this month is for.  Since I can’t get a job for July, I’ll be writing like crazy, and pouring over my publication bible to start sending some things off.  SCARY.

you know what’s great?

Suddenly having SO many nanny jobs that you have to figure out how to juggle them all.

The downside is, two of them are weekend jobs, and the other is a weekday job, so it’s likely I won’t get to go back to Boston to visit until July, but Frank is probably coming down for the 4th anyway. 

know what sucks?

Job hunting.  Have been at it nonstop for two days (I know, I know “only two days!” but two days as in, I have been filling out applications and digging through search engines for almost fourteen hours now with only a break to go get dinner).  No luck thus far.  No one is hiring, or at least not for my limited qualifications, or for the amount of time I’ll be in Texas.

what an idiot

Flew back to Texas today.  That in and of itself was uneventful, however this evening, as my stepdad was driving home from work, he was rearended.  Twice.  By a middle-aged man who decided approaching a stoplight was an excellent time to open and begin perusing the contents of a manilla folder.  So he rearended my stepdad twice, then dashed off — a clear hit and run.

Jerry wound up going to the hospital (he’s mostly okay) and filed a police report, of course. 

Here’s the real kicker, though.  The other man, guilty of a hit-and-run, left his license plate embedded in the bumper of my stepdad’s car.  Seriously.  Darwin award, anyone?

In other news, I need a job.

earthfest and misc.

Saturday took Frank and Curtis with me to meet up with some friends (Stef, Jessye, and Sarah, plus a few) at Earthfest, a big free concert put on by Whole Foods and some radio station by the Charles River.  We got there pretty late but still got to enjoy some overpriced crummy carnival food (fried dough? ew) and dance to some cool tunes, haha.  I’ve actually always wanted to go to the summer concerts that Boston frequently has there, and hopefully I’ll go to a few more during my trips back here within the next two months, or once I’m back in August.

In other news, I’m headed back to Texas on Monday.  I’m actually quite excited about being home and seeing my Texas friends and not having to deal with public transportation EXCEPT that I’ll miss the few friends that I still have here in Boston quite terribly.    I hate having two homes and only being able to be in one at a time.

I know I haven’t caught up with my Ireland entries yet.  This week I will, alongside job hunting, as well as scanning in my polaroid shots.  I’ve taken some super cute photos.

Saw Up last night, the new Pixar movie.  I definitely recommend it.  I cried probably four times, haha; it’s an adorable and endearing movie.

Also made another blueberry pie for the boys, per Frank’s request.  Unfortunately, I had an hour in which to construct and cook it, and my blueberries were frozen.  Instead of being a normal intelligent person and defrosting them with like a microwave or something, I used the heat from the oven, which means they were still quite chilled when I put the pie in.  I forgot about the fact that while frozen, they have a LOT of juice which I drained last time, to keep the pie from being too runny.  So, go figure, the pie is really more of . . . a blueberry soup with some crust.  Frank and Richard have both very kindly insisted it’s perfectly fine and that they love blueberry soup as muh as they love blueberry pie, and both ate heaping plates (should have been in bowls . . . ) in front of me.  Boyfriend and boyfriend’sbrother win, haha.  I didn’t cry because my first pie for them was darn near perfect, but it still was a baking failure, and those are never fun.

Really wish I had a scanner and already could post my polaroids, but since I don’t, I’ll settle for these two photos Jessye took of me at earthfest with a D80.  A D80!  She checked it out from our school for her summer digital imaging class, which means I’ll have access to it when I take digital imaging in the fall.  Hurray!!

That’s me and Stef listening to the music.

And that’s me and Frank.

Have I mentioned my friend Jessye is an awesome photographer?  You may have seen the portraits she did of me for her photo project about a year and a half ago, as well as a couple portraits she took of me while we were in Europe.  She definitely knows how to make me look good in a photo.

pictures

The rest of my Ireland pictures are up on webshots.  I’ll get posts put up on Thursday — getting sick this week in conjunction with spending as much time with Frank as possible has meant I haven’t really had time to get everything caught up like I thought.  But for now, pictures are done for webshots — I’ll get my photo portfolio (flickr) updated with the best of the best (some of which aren’t on webshots) within the next couple days, at least within the next week.

Also, so one thing about having a really really really busy life, is that you blink you’re eyes and suddenly you and your boyfriend have been together for two months.

Oops

So yes, I am back in the states, and I have been really really bad about updating.  I’ll get all caught up with Ireland stuff maybe Tuesday or Wednesday.  In the meantime, I actually came home to Boston two days early.  After seven straight days of pouring rain, all my clothes were drenched, I was getting sick, and I was exhausted and homesick — and broke!  Took 22 hours to get from Dublin to Boston via Chicago, but I am here and have been spending most of my time with Frank, his brother (who is here for the summer), and his roomies.  It’s very, very strange to be in Boston when most of my friends are not, but I’m enjoying the week and a half of having NOTHING that I have to do.  I’ve started knitting again, working on learning more advanced stitches.  Have cooked a bit, too (made fiesta chicken for Frank and Richard last night and they loved it, which is aways a GREAT response.  Came over a few minutes ago to find them arguing over leftovers in the kitchen.  Success!)  Today we are making quiche and tomorrow blueberry pie, and possible going to the beach if it’s warm and sunny.  Anyway, just having a fun time running around Boston, doing whatever I want, whenever I want.  Though I will admit, I’m homesick for the south, and were it not for Frank being here, I would already happily be home (and working, making some money!)

Anyway, am actually at Frank’s right now, just chilling.  I’ll try to be better about posting; I’m not at my laptop hardly at all lately, hence the lag in updates.  I’ll get everything caught up Tuesday or Wednesday, though, and finish posting pictures (if I remember correctly, through Belfast are posted on my webshots, but I still need to put up my three days in Galway-area, as well as update my photography portfolio with the best of the best.)

Giant’s Causeway

The tour I went on Friday was actually awesome.  Giant’s Causeway is interesting enough on its own, but we also stopped in Carnlough (little fishing village), Cerrickfergus Castle, Dunlance Castle (inspiration for Cair Paravel!!  I nerded out, haha), and the Carrick-a-rede bridge, which was used by Irish fishermen to catch Salmon.  All of it included lots of awesome commentary from our rad tourguide (who was actually Scottish), beautiful cliffs, and lots of fields.  And man, so many great animals!  Scottish cows, all kinds of sheep and little lambs, swans, horses, mini ponies, etc.  The cliffs anywhere in Ireland are gorgeous; it really does make it feel like the island just burst forth from the sea (burst, Frank, burst :p ).  Oh, as for Giant’s Causeway, y’all can look at my pictures once they’re up, but basically it’s this weird, huge collection where the rocks split into hexagons.  What it LOOKS like though is that someone made these piles of hexagonal rocks.  It’s found only two places in the world, on the shores opposite each other from this spot in Ireland and Scotland.  From here comes the legend of Finn McCool and Cuchulain’s fueding, and legend has it that Finn McCool used these rocks to build a bridge to Scotland, and Cuchulain then destroyed it.  It’s hard not to believe it; the rocks are way strange.

I made friends along the way, namely Steve (from Austin) and Joran (from the Netherlands, who is biking around Ireland for two months; how Dutch!!)  Steve bought a round of pints in the pub at Giant’s Causeway, and so I can mark “drink Guinness in an Irish pub” off my life list of things to do.  It was awesome to get out of the city, and also to get some more background about C. S. Lewis and Winston Churchill’s lives here, etc.  The Hotel Europa (this is for you, Mom) was the most bombed hotel in the entire world, according to World Records, until four years ago: now it’s in Beirut.

I guess the problem in general with Belfast is that it’s not really ready for tourists yet.  The ENTIRE city is under construction; Joran was bemoaning that he couldn’t take a single picture downtown with nine big cranes in it.  Even the Ulster Museum is closed for several years for renovations.  It’s cold and rainy and you have to make appointments to do anything, which is nearly impossible for backpackers or those who can’t afford cabs.  Maybe in 10, 15 years –maybe even less– Belfast will be great.  In the meantime, it feels like England’s kid brother that they only want around as a landing point to go visit the coast.  The only good news is that Belfast is overall pretty cheap.  With British pounds, I was expected London prices, but it’s not bad at all. 

Am now in Galway, which is really cute.  It reminds me of a cleaner Brussels meets Freiberg meets Ljubljana.  Small, quaint, clearly kept up with tourists in mind but also still maintaining more uniqueness than Dublin.  I mean, it’s very small, and you can’t really get around the fact that they are used to tourists here.  The main little shop street is cute but jampacked with souvenir and trinket shops.  But the river is pretty, I went inside a beautiful church, and there are enough distinct buildings or ancient things to appease me. 

It’s five now, and I’m probably in for the day.  Which is lame, I know.  But I think I might be sick — which isn’t surprising, seeing as the rain has been following me around, and at times my clothes aren’t warm enough.  Besides, tomorrow I do another day tour which INCLUDES visiting an Irish family farm (the tourguide’s), drinking his mum’s tea (really?! YES), visiting some caves and a few other things I can’t remember, and the Cliffs of Moher.  I’m thinking Monday I might actually linger and do another tour, either out to some Islands, or up Connemara.  Then off to Cork, but probably only for a day in order to visit Blarney Castle, because I’ve been warned Cork is uber lame, even lamer than Dublin.  That still would give me one day to play with, either down to Kinsale (which I’m only considering because it’d be cool to say I’ve been to all four Irish coasts, but there isn’t much to do there except eat), or maybe over to Kilkenny to see the castle and I think there’s an abbey there, too.  I don’t know, though; a lot will depend on how I feel and how much money I have.

Now . . . I am chilling in the kitchen of my hostel because some people are cooking, and if I have my choice between a room with a TV or a kitchen with cooking going on, I would rather sit in the kitchen.  Kitchens in general are just very comforting to me.  Except now that I am typing this, it is making me homesick . . .

Cross your fingers the weather clears up!  It would be really, really nice to be able to go outside without getting drenched.   I’ll work on getting Howth pictures up tonight, I think.

Blefast isn’t

all that great.  I’ll write more later.  Right now I am tired and have to get up early for a long day tomorrow.

In the meantime, pictures from day one in Dublin are up in my webshots album (link to the right).  Tomorrow I’ll start adding pictures from Howth, and then Belfast.