Le Rock’n'Roll

So I haven’t written in a while. Eh, I’ve been busy.

So yesterday Dad called me during dinner. I talked to him, then hung up, threw my trash away, and went back to the dorm. Later, Diana IMed me and wanted to know where I was because she had been calling me all afternoon and I wasn’t answering. It was then I realized that my phone was not in my purse. I flipped out –not just because it had been stolen, but because it was my own fault. After talking to Dad, I went back to get a drink from the kitchen and decided to just leave my purse at the table. Everyone at Emerson does it and there isn’t really an issue with theft –it’s just sort of an unspoken agreement between everyone here. I still thought it was stupid but made myself shut that little voice up. So then, to find out my phone was stolen….

So I FLIPPED OUT. I thought I was going to cry, haha. Went running over to the policeman at Department of Public Safety and he told me to go check with the supervisor of the dining hall. I didn’t see what that mattered, but I went up anyways to the nice Mexican who swipes the cards –he’s a nice guy and we sort of joke around sometimes. So I showed up on the verge of tears and said, “I lost my phone here earlier. Is there a supervisor I can–” and then he pulled it out from the desk and handed it to me. He said, ‘THey’ve been calling all afternoon but I can’t answer it. Take care of that thing, though.” I don’t know if I left it on the table and someone turned it in or if I had put it on my tray and the kitchen guys turned it in but GOD BLESS HONEST PEOPLE!!! That’s the second time this year I’ve lost my phone and had some kind-hearted person turn it in. As much crap as there is in the world, there still are decent people, and that gives me hope.

Other things I’ll mention really quickly while I’m procrastinating doing my homework:
Turned my shot record in FINALLY today (I kept forgetting)
Did great on my speech midterm
Have decided to go vegetarian until I go home for Thanksgiving, just to see what it’s all about
I have finally come up with a college plan that… that I really, really like. It feels right. I finally feel like I know what I want to do and how to do it.
I’M GOING TO STUDY IN THE NETHERLANDS NEXT FALL!!!!
Tonight, aside from doing homework, I also need to figure out what I want to do about my dance classes. I definitely want to continue ballroom and latin club, but I’d also really like to take jazz, too. I’m going to see if I can find some cheap jazz classes around here… we’ll see.
That said… well, I could go off on all sorts of tangents, but I really do need to get started on my homework. I have big essays due tomorrow and the next day, so…

The Rock is filming the Disney movie “The Game Plan” in one of our class buildings (Walker Building) and the bar right outside my dorm. There are trailers with cute kid drawings hung up on the windows and crew tables with food line the City Place sidewalk. I keep wanting to take a picture since I’ve never been to (much less lived on) a movie set before, but security is pretty strict.

And… I’m going to go write my essays now, because I still need to do my language studies for the day, and I also have some killer play ideas. I also need to get my monologue together for New Hampshire this weekend (I can’t believe it’s already here!!) AND NaNoWriMo starts in two days and I’m completely unprepared. Plenty of stuff to do right now, so I’m going to go get started.

Haircolor Fate

As it turns out, my afternoon class got canceled today. So I could have tried to make up for lack of sleep I stocked up on last night, but instead I decided to go get my hair fixed. My roots were bad to the point of disgusting.

So here it is, my new color. I wanted without highlights because I had gotten highlights so much that they just sort of all blended together. The woman who did it was a cute Chinese woman Jennie, and her teacher looked like the taller Robin Williams.

So, judgement?

Hair-admiring aside, I’ve decided I’m really going to work on languages this semester. I’m going to keep at German so I don’t forget it, and I’d like to focus on ASL a lot more. I’m also learning Spanish and Latin. Yay me! I just finished my Spanish lesson for the day. I learned the following (but nothing has any accents or anything like that because I’m far too lazy to type in the special codes):

A: Hola! Buenas Tardes. Como se llamo, usted? (or, to a friend, como te llamo?)
B: Hola. Me llamo Jessa. Y usted? (or, to a friend, y tu?)
A: Me llamo Burt. Usted es Americana, ?verdad?
B: Si, yo soy Americana. Y usted, ?de donde es?
A: Yo soy Mexicano. Soy Guadelajara. ?Habla usted ingles?
B: ?Como dice, que significa “habla”?
A: ?Habla usted ingles?
B: Perdon, no entiendo. ?Peude repetir, por favor?
A: ?Habla usted ingles?
B: Mas despacio, por favor.
A: ?Habla usted espanol?
B: Ah, no, lo siento, no hablo espanol. Solo hablo ingles.
A: Ah, si, si. Eh… adios!
B: Adios. Buenes Tardes!

Here, let me translate for you:
A: Hello! Good afternoon. What is your name?
B: Hello. My name is Jessa. What is your name?
A: My name is Burt. You are American, yes?
B: Yes, I am American. What nationality are you?
A: I am Mexican. From Guadelajara. Do you speak English?
B: Pardon me, what does “habla” mean?
A: Do you speak English?
B: I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Can you repeat that, please?
A: Do you speak English?
B: More slowly, please.
A: Do you speak Spanish?
B: Oh, no, no, I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish. I only speak English.
A: Oh, yes, yes. Well… good-bye!
B: Good bye! Have a good day!

I also learned digame (can I help you?) and ?de donde eres? (informal “where are you from?”) but they wouldn’t fit into that genius dialogue I just came up with. Basically I should write Spanish textbooks for a living. I mean, you laughed outloud when you read it, right? The confusion… the mystery…it’s fate that they’ll end up married. You know it.

Well, I think I’m going to go do my Latin flashcards, take a fifteen minute nap, go eat, and then head off to stage crew. Yuck yuck yuck (that was my Popeye impression, by the way, in case you didn’t pick up on that…)

SOoooooo, no more red bull energy drinks for ME!

Uhhhh

So it’s 4:11 AM, so I really can’t write much. I added more pictures to webshots. Had lots of fun in philosophy today (I think Audrey and I frighten Dulgarian) which was weird. Stage crew was all right. Then Diana and I stayed up until four writing our essays for Honors. Fun times, yeah?

So I really would like to write more, but I have to get up in three hours, so… I should probably get what sleep I can, right? I’ll write more tomorrow (or…erm…later today).

Oh, and if I was a skeleton, I might look something like this:

SONNET!!!!!

So today, dear Diana wrote a story for me. This is how it goes:

Hey Jessa!!!! What’s up? I’m going to write a story about a girl named Jessa.Once upon a time there was a girl named Jessa. She was from Texas. She thought that she was so cool but she really wasn’t. She hated Russel Crowe because he’s an idiot. One day she was at class at Emerson in the Semel Theatre. She was reminded of her stupid crew assignment where she did absolutely nothing and yet had to remain for hours in the theatre knitting her friend Diana a noose. All of a sudden, she realized that she was extremely hungry. So she started eating her notebook. I asked her what she was doing and she responded, “I’m hungry, leave me alone, bitch!”. Then everyone started pointing and laughing at her. She got so embarrassed that she ran out of the theatre and started running down Boylston Street.
She then ran into a hobo. He asked her why she was running and she said that she was embarrassed because she ate her notebook and that she couldn’t ever return to Emerson. The hobo was very understanding and made her feel better. He gave her half of his already half eaten McDonald’s burger that he had fished out of the trash. Then she wasn’t hungry anymore.
She asked the hobo his name and he said, “Frank”. Frank was a really nice hobo she realized. She liked him so much that they decided to get married. They walked into the Public Gardens and had a romantic (with a lower case r) outing. The next day, they got married and they lived happily ever after, in the gazebo on the common, eating notebooks whenever they felt like it.
THE END

Wasn’t it lovely? At least I got married in the end. She assured me that the hobo is very attractive.

I put new pictures up on webshots, both on college random #1 and #2.

I was going to write more, but I’ve got things to do, so… good night for now!

Rag Tag Writing

Welcome, parents, to Parent Weekend at Emerson College. We know you’re spending more money than is humane to send your students to our college, so we would like to demonstrate how much we value your decision by depriving the entire Piano Row building of hot water. And we don’t just mean giving them cold showers when it’s 47degrees outside, we mean water pouring from the too-high shower head the likes that made the arctic waters in which the Titanic sunk seem like a jacuzzi. It was for this reason that nobody in my entire dorm building showered this morning.

It’s frigging COLD outside today –upper 40s, lower 50s all day. And as much as I’ve always loved the cold, the downside to attending college in a northern city is that I have no tolerance for the cold. None. I don’t know how to go running in the cold. Which means that every day that it’s below the upper 50s, I can’t go running, which totally defeats the purpose of living in a place with good areas for running. And I like the fitness center for its mere existence, but it’s really not a very good one. I wish I had gone today, though, when they let us out of stage crew early. Instead, I did three weeks worth of laundry and now have clean clothes to wear YAY. Also have almost finished my reading for Honors –Bartleby and Benite Cereno by Herman Melville. I love them! It’s the first reading I’ve done since I got here that I’ve enjoyed so much I haven’t been able to put it down. Cool beans.

I’ll be honest, I don’t like everyone’s parentals being here this weekend. I feel like they’re intruding on our college world. I don’t like having tours of parents coming through while I’m just trying to do my laundry.

Oh, okay, funny story. So when the stage managers dismissed us this afternoon, I asked, “Am I going to be able to go to church tomorrow morning?” They looked shocked and one asked, “I don’t think…what?” I explained that if religious holidays are an excused absence from class, then attending church should likewise excuse me from stage crew. One goes, “And you can’t just, like, go at another time? It’s just at that one time?” And I thought to myself Oh Lordy, what am I doing at this school? I explained that service is from 11-12, so I’d come at 10 o’clock call, leave at about 10:40, and then come straight back, around 12:20ish. They both looked at each other like they didn’t know what to do, then finally said that’s fine, just to check in. Then they went off and were talking amonst themselves, not aware I was standing right behind them, about whether I was being serious or not. I about DIED laughing… oh, goodness.

Well… and now I should get back to homework. If I can finish my review and this book and get started on my speech outline tonight, I can do my philosophy reading and other speech outline and Honors essay tomorrow night, and then I’ll be set for the week. Yay for not procrastinating/classes not swamping you with pointless busywork!

Yep, those are some Canadian Geese just chilling in one of the parks I go running in.

I have a theory

As to why there are more lesbians in Northern cities than in Southern cities. It’s because when women go walking around the city, they get harassed so frequently by their male counterparts that they don’t want to then return home to yet another man. So instead they turn to women for companionship, looking forward to making it through that door at which point they can stop walking quickly with their mouth shut and finally vent all their frustration at the stupidity and perverseness of the male species. Yes, species, because I’m quite positive males have more similar DNA to chimpanzees and small rodents than woman do.

Not that I’m considering going lesbian; don’t get me wrong. I am simply so sick of getting catcalled multiple times everytime I walk out the door. I’m not so foolish as to think it’s because I posess any startlingly beautiful qualities. If your chest sticks out further than your stomach, Boston men have a multitude of phrases to mutter or yell your way, often in a multitude of languages. I miss the South where there’s at least a scosh of Southern Charm and genteelness left –quite a lot if you compare them to New England cities. I miss men holding doors (some do it here, and I don’t want to overlook their kindness, and one guy even carried my bag down the stairs in the subway, but I’m pretty sure they’re all Southern transplants).

Am I silly for expecting men to treat women with some sort of civility? I’m not so femenist to think that men and women should be treated exactly the same in every regard because they never will and that’s only natural. Men and women will never be exactly the same. However, had I grown up in Boston, I’m quite sure I would subscribe to a different magazine all together.

Bottom line: all ye of my friends who feared I would fall in love with some Northerner and live here forever… HAHAHAHAH SO not happening. So don’t worry!

The Birth of Discovery

A good writer writes what they know.

I disagree. A competent writer writes what they know, slaving away to make real to the reader what is so real in the memory and experience of their own mind. A competent writer bases their characters on people they know, put them in situations they’re familiar with, and has them react in the way that they themselves or the people they know would react. It’s all very controlled, very safe, very familiar.

A great writer, though, writes to discover. A great writer takes what they know and puts it in some new world, some new context, some new scenario, and write to see what happens. A great writer is as much an observer to their story as the reader is. A great writer can still base their characters on people they know, but they also aren’t afraid when strangers pop up. They take their memories, their experiences, their knowledge, and they shove them in a bag with all the unknowns of the world, and then let just a few things slip out at a time, watching enrapt to see what comes of it. A great writer writes to discover and is not afraid to take the risk of diving into the unknown.

I’m reading Nietzche right now, and so far I’m unimpressed. I’ve surprised myself by just thinking philosophy is a big fat waste of time. Why sit around trying to decide what justice is, what utopia is, what right and wrong is, what the meaning of life is, what one should do be happy –why waste all your time thinking about this when you can just go out and do it? Obviously no one has come to any conclusions for the past fifty thousand years, so why waste any more time trying to answer questions that human minds were just not built to comprehend? I think it’s because people don’t want to admit that there are things about ourselves and our world that we just don’t understand. Are we as humans really so arrogant as to think we rule this world, that we have the right –much less the ability– to understand everything about everything? It’s the same idea behind the idea: why waste time theorizing when you can go out and discover?

I guess I’m just more of an action-oriented person than I ever thought it was. I’m sick of hearing people sit around and talking about what needs to be done, what should be done, what might be done –get out there and do it! Is that idea really so absurd?

On a completely unrelated note, Matt and Lawrie (I thought it appropriate for him to go by a different nickname) are currently doing fine and just had a lovely nap on my stomach while I read them The Birth of Tragedy. I don’t think they care much more Nietzsche either since they snoozed through 50 pages…

Is it a sign or a joke from God?

I’ve been so torn lately on what to do about college. And I’m still torn. And I’m not going to let myself make any decisions about college until after finals have ended, because the truth is that while I’m mostly miserable here, there are some things I love as well –going running through the city, my speech teacher, thinking about forensics team, ballroom dancing, and the few friends I’ve made so far –namely Laura and Diana, but also Nick and Adam, and even other acquaintances. Similarly, there are many things I’m unhappy with –being so far from home, the lameness of my classes, not having my own space, being pretty trapped in what courses I take because my school doesn’t offer much variety, not having a job. Coming to a decision is going to take a lot of prayer and consideration, because I don’t want to do something I regret, but I also don’t want to regret not doing something. And now with Larry telling me I have to get rid of my turtles… let’s just say he’s not helping Emerson’s case.

Every Sunday, my ritual is to check out a website called Postsecret.com where people submit their anonymous secrets via a decorated postcard. I’ve checked every Sunday for perhaps six months now, and saved several dozen as interesting or self-revealing. Yesterday, because of extreme busy-ness, I didn’t have time to check it out. Only now, in the midst of everything, did I go there to calm myself down and found this secret, followed by two e-mails people have written in since it was posted yesterday:

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Monday, October 16, 2006 10:25 AM
Subject: University is stealing my best parts

Hold on. it can feel like death, and it can feel like forever. it takes a long time to heal, but it is worth it. you can’t know how that struggle will help you become who you were meant to be: wiser and more caring.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Monday, October 16, 2006 1:44 PM
Subject: university is stealing my best parts

Grad school is stealing all mine too. I’m going home for good in December to get them back. Sometimes its okay to get your parts back instead of a degree.

Conflicting advice. Adequately summing up my confliction. There is no arguing that attending Emerson College in Boston is an experience. But is it the right experience for me? Or would I be better off finding a new college, a new experience? Would I be missing out on what I’m meant to be doing by leaving here, or am I missing out by staying here?

Still no decision, still no clue, still just sitting idly on the fence.

Amazing Grace

On September 11th this year, the bar beneath my window played Amazing Grace on bagpipes.

But man, I forgot how much September 11th hurt until I started watching these videos.

This is Ophelia

Actually, it’s not Ophelia. It’s me. Fooled ya, huh?

This morning I went running on the long trail, which takes about an hour and a half. I usually hate it because it’s like jogger central and I feel like a loser, but I discovered that Tuesday at 11am is really not a big jogger time. Then I came back to the room and accomplished NOTHING until my speech class. Then I came back from class and started working on speech but suddenly got super hungry and went to the diner. However, it suddenly dropped like 20 degrees, and was really cold, so I decided I wanted to go walking. Unfortunately, once I got all bundled up, it wasn’t so cold anymore… but nonetheless, I went walking about for about an hour and a half around the Esplanade again to take pictures. There are always great photo ops, but I never have my camera with me when I go running, for obvious reasons.

Then I came back and finished my speech I have to give tomorrow, but it’s terrible. If I knew how to put audio files online, I would let y’all listen to it. But just trust me: it’s bad. I’m just hoping it will be good by comparison, you know? Then I started trying to read the Tempest, but my excitement at coming home took over, so I did most of my packing. Can I just say it again: I’m so excited to be coming home. I’m going to be too busy doing things to sleep, and that’s okay with me!

I’m trying to think of something amusing or entertaining to say… but there really isn’t anything. My brain is just sort of exploding trying to figure out all I need to get done between right now and tomorrow before I leave… so much to do!

Anyways, all that said, put lots of new pictures from my walk up on my webshots.com account (username MissJessa). So go check those out, and that will make up for my lack of any real substance in this entry…