Farewell Loft.

I am now officially and entirely moved out of the Loft. And I’m strangely sad about it. Yes, it was MISERABLE to be in there this summer. Yes, I had to walk down the hall and use a seperate key for my bathroom. Yes, my window didn’t open. Yes, I had to cook sitting on the ground. Yes, the closet door didn’t open all the way and wasn’t big enough for my clothes. Yes, the shower hadno head and so sprayed your back with the force of God. Yes, my couch was uncomfortable and you couldn’t see the TV from it. Yes, one could hardly walk around in it. Yes, I had no privacy and lots of study and sleep interruptions because of the paperthin walls and Gary.

But I mean, it was warm and cozy in the winter. I got a LOT of writing done there, overheard a lot of funny conversations, and learned a LOT about living on my own.

Frank and I picked up a rented Honda CR-V at 8:30am and headed over. Unfortunately, parking had filled up FAST and we wound up having to park about half a block down and across a street. This made loading up the car a PAIN. It was a much harder packing job than yesterday because it was a few really big things and then a lot of loose things. Frank is so NOT a morning person (I had NO idea how not a morning person he is until today, haha, but he is scary! ) and the grumpier people around me are, the more cheerier I feel I have to be. Anyway, we were almost done when my landlord (the good one that I like; I’ve written about him before) offered that if I could be out soon, he would “throw four Brazilians up there and let them at it.” I’m supposed to leave my apartment “broom clean” and so was going to have to venture back there tonight to clean everything up. He saved me time and effort, though, and it was highly appreciated.

However, this added a good deal of chaos to what was already chaos, because now i had to make sure I had EVERYTHING, instead of having the security of checking again in the evening when things were slower. I think we got everything, though, and then I turned over my keys and rushed us back to Frank’s so we could once again move EVERYTHING into his basement. PAIN.

It all worked out, thoguh, and what this taught me is that it’s worth it to hire movers, haha. So instead of having to move EVERYTHING again on Tuesday — which I honestly think would kill me, especially because I know also have some furniture that needs to be moved that I”m not strong enoguh to pick up, much less carry up two flights of stairs — I have hired a moving company for $300. That’s a LOT of money for me, but also possibly some of the best money I’ll have ever spent. I’ll need to repack a couple things tomorrow because the fragile boxes are poorly packed, two boxes are breaking, adn there are a lot of open boxes . . . but I’m still very relieved that my part in this whole process is almost over. At least I don’t have to do the actual moving part myself; just some little odds and ends.

In the meantime, I am homeless/staying at Frank’s place. We moved this morning, then slept ALL day, haha, then went to Harvard Square to walk around, listen to some street performers, buy his texts books and some European chocolates, and now I’m waiting for the dinner I cooked to be done. After the stressful move this morning, I realized it’s the 30th, which means it’s our 5-month anniversary. Happy anniversary! Now help me move, lol.

Anyway, farewell to the loft. I’m super excited about the new place, and I think it’s going to be a wonderful year with two of my best girls. The loft was a good first apartment experience for me, but my new bedroom along is about the same size as the entire loft, haha. So while I’m a bit sad to have said goodbye to the loft in such haste this morning (we only had the car for 2.5 hours so we had to hoof it), I’m also very excited to be moving (literally) onto BIGGER (literally) and better things.

Also, big thanks to Fidan for holding onto a cart for me that simply WOULD NOT fit into the car, and HUGE thanks to Frank for helping me move heavy boxes. Welcome to the perks of being a boyfriend, haha.

Farewell, sweet loft. May you serve your next resident as . . . interestingly . . . as you did me.

Moving != Fun

So last night I tore down my big book case and packed all the stuff on there, dropping a shelf on my head and a shelf on my knee in the process. For dinner I ate a sandwich with bread on which I didn’t see any mold but didn’t look too close. Then I started feeling really, really awful so I decided to call it a night and went to bed around midnight.

Around 2am Frank calls me to say goodnight and I basically had a nervous breakdown on the phone. I was so shaky I could hardly hold the NEXT piece of toast I made myself, and was really nauseaus and in a bit of stomach pain. I was crying about the stress of moving and of work and of it being the first evening me and Frank haven’t spent together in a long time and my impending dentist appnt next week (I don’t do so well), and also because I was lying in bed convinced I was getting another ulcer, I could feel it.

Frank being the amazing boyfriend he is took a cab to my apartment at 2:30am to take care of me and calm me down.

I had initially just thought I was, like I said, getting a stress ulcer from the unreal conditions of this move. I have to be out of my apartment by noon on Monday, but I can’t move into the NEW apartment until 10:30am on Tuesday. Meanwhile, I work all day Thursday, Friday, and Monday, and I have an all day class on Saturday. I’m also adamant about NOT paying for boxes because that is stupid and I should not have to pay. Plus, studying for the GRE is kicking my butt because my math skills are GONE to an embarrassing extreme. Plus, there I am in the middle of the night, alone in my completely silent apartment, lonely and alone and taking it apart. Sad^10. Anyway, all of this, I think, could explain why I would have a mental breakdown.

This morning, I woke up to make some toast and saw BIG green mold all over the bread I had eaten from last night. I hadn’t looked closely, so probably I had mold poisoning last night, and that was why I felt so extremely sick – painfully sick, I mean. I’m so ready to live in an apartment where the fridge actually works and the apartment isn’t so hot that food goes bad in three days.

In other news, I have spent ALL day packing, and I am sick of it. I’ll take a load or two to Frank’s basement Friday morning, then finish packing all the last odds and ends Saturday night/Sunday morning, use Frank and possibly Diana to get the rest of my stuff to Frank’s basement, clean Sunday night. Then Tuesday is just going to be a mess and I’m not really sure how that’s going down, because I can’t move the big things (desk, bed, TV stand) by myself, but Frank works all day . . . possibly with the help of Diana and her dad and a U-haul . . . Anyway, crazy. Moving sucks. Ugh.

I still need more boxes, so I’ll go box hunting again tonight when I take the trash out.

Oh, and I will write about my weekend trip to Maryland/DC/Virginia to meet Frank’s family eventually (possibly if I have ANY spare time this weekend . . .) but right now I’m too caught up with moving. Digital photos are up on webshots, but I won’t be able to scan in my polaroids until I can start using the scanners at school (which starts in two weeks).

Also, I’ll have final photos of the loft later . . . sad but happy to be going!

hurray, making everyone mad!

I’m headed back to Boston in the morning, where I will have two days alone, without internet or television, until Frank returns from his business trip.  I would just wait to fly up until Saturday except — oh wait — the airlines suck.  Can we PLEASE return to regulated airlines?  Because I think it is safe to say that non-regulation has crashed and BURNED every single person trying to fly nowadays.

Aside from not looking forward to being totally alone for two days (which I used to enjoy, but now I’m in one of my super-social phases, plus the whole no-tv-or-internet makes it worse), it doesn’t feel right leaving home yet.  Not that much is going on here.   I worked for three weeks.  Watched a movie with the boys once, went out with Chrissy I think twice, aside from Frank being here this past weekend (which was great!).  I’ve seen my dad like three times in the month I’ve been home.  I can’t get a job because I’m not here much longer, and it’s too hot to go outside.  So basically I’ve been sitting in the house and going to the gym — occasionally doing a bit of writing.  So the plan is to go back to  Boston for a week and a half, then come home for another two weeks, during which I’ll have a family reunion and my annual friend trip to the river.  Then I’ll be back in Boston, hopefully working for a month before moving into the new apartment and starting school.

It occurs to me that this is my last summer spending any great length of time home, and I’m not ready to accept that yet.  I love Texas, and I love doing nothing with my family, and I love my home.  Granted, I’ll finagle a way to come home for a couple weeks hopefully.  I realize it’s illogical, but leaving tomorrow has me feeling like I’m going to be missing out on precious moments at home.  I ALWAYS feel that way, either way, whether I’m leaving Boston or leaving home.  But it’s impossible not to feel left out when I know things are going on at home without me, but at the same time, things are going on with Frank in Boston and I want to be there with him, too.  Basically, I can be in Boston doing stuff with Frank and his friends, or I can be here with my family doing nothing.  I don’t like having to choose.

Like I said, I’m blowing the entire thing out of proportion and actually was pretty upset about it earlier.  My now-uncertainty about my future has me wobbly when I had my post-school life all planned out.  This new way of doing loans (that I have to make interest payments and a principal payment WHILE in school — which I can’t afford) has me stressed out about work.  My BFA thesis needs to be in the works, and looming graduation (10 mos. away, but still!) has me anxious about ending another stage of youth.  I’m not ready to be a grown-up yet, and I’m not ready to give up my home in Texas and my time with family to just do nothing, but everything in the world is propelling me forward.  Typically I’m all for that, but sometimes I wish I could just freeze time.  I’m not okay with the sacrifices that have to be made in order to become an adult — but all this being mandatory.

Flights tomorrow are bad.  I’m trying for the 6:35am, and there’s the chance I’ll make it, but there’s also the chance I’ll be sitting around in the airport all day.  If I’m not going to be at home, I’m ready to be in Boston; I hate spending FOREVER in airports.

I know once I’m in Boston, I’ll be happy about regaining my independence.  I’ll probably spend tomorrow night writing and watching movies — I’ll still have my DVD player. I can go to Trident Cafe if I get lonely, because there are people AND free wifi there.  I’ve got a couple things for the new apartment hopefully that I’ll go pick up, and I’ll go for a walk since the weather is MUCH cooler there (though I am NOT looking forward to giving up the sunshine nor cutting temperatures in half.  50s and 60s?!  I want 70s and 80s!)  I need to get stuff done on my BFA thesis, and I’ll be job hunting, and I’ll see if I can still gain access to the school gym.  And there are still a few friends in Boston I can look up.

I’m always either itching to get going or desperate to stay put.  And right now I am feeling lazy and sentimental and already homesick . . . but I’ll be home in a week and a half!  I realize it’s not like I’ll NEVER be home again.  Sometimes I am just absurd, I know this.  I’m just in a mood . . .

Anyway.  Right now, I am going to go update my wishlist page with all the stuff I need for the new apartment.  So, you know, if you just HAPPEN to have something lying around, or just HAPPEN to want to give me a gift . . . well, I sure won’t stop you!

resume building

It is not fun.  I realized it’s important I have a resume, or at least a grand master resume so that I can easily copy and paste to make a specific-job resume.

My resume includes education, theatre-related work, published writing, published photographs, and actual jobs so far.  And it kind of looks ridiculous.  My high school awards take up four lines and I only did awards from the last two years — AND I think I’m forgetting some.  My extracurriculars take up another four lines — and this is all size 10 font.  What a joke.  Did I just not sleep in high school?  I asked Mom and she said, “Well you were always on the go.”  No wonder I was so burned out by the time I hit college!

Anyway, I’m using my boyfriend’s resume as a guide, but I’m having to just wing it on the theatre, writing, and photography sections and make up my own formatting.  And it’s just making me realize how LAME I am about not submitting my work.  This section definitely needs to get bigger; I’m going to submit like crazy for the next few months.  Cross your fingers/pray for me, please!

But that’s what this month is for.  Since I can’t get a job for July, I’ll be writing like crazy, and pouring over my publication bible to start sending some things off.  SCARY.

DEATH

accidentally went on a six-hour hike today.  Granted, it was along the Howth coast and absolutely BEAUTIFUL (for roughly half of it, then there was some forest, then some windy fields, then some random scrubby areas, and then across a GOLF COURSE where I got scolded by two haggish old women), but once the beautiful part was over, I still had a 2.5 hour hike back inland, and I seriously, truly, honestly, with everything in me thought I was going to lay down and die.  I started verbalizing my will and was going to make a video of it (I didn’t have the energy to write) so that when my dead body was found, so would it.  Did I mention that all I ate prior to my hike was two pieces of toast with butter?  BAD.  It was BAD.  If I had known how much worse it would get while still hiking up and down and up and down and up along the cliffs along the sea, I probably would have thrown myself off to be dashed against the rocks.  That’s much more romantic than collapsing in an overgrown field and my decaying corpse getting eaten by bumblebees the size of my FACE.

And btw, whoever Fingal County (trust me, Final County, I also rehearsed a charming letter for YOU about your “follow the white stone path” sign which was actually NOT referring to the path made of white stones directly in front of the sign [which led me into the pathway of golf balls, and thus resulted in the rude lecture from old ladies] but rather a helter-skelter line DIRECTLY across the golf course marked by occasional spray-painted bricks, pieces of wood, of patches of concrete that you can’t see until you are on top of them) hired to figure out their trail times is functioning on a different minute than the rest of their world.  Because from the point where it said “1 hour and 45 minutes to trailhead” TO the actual trailhead, it definitely took me almost three hours.  And I am a big time hiker/walker with legs of steal.  The two little girls hiking behind me fell behind.  And I won’t be surprised if they are never heard from again. 

Alas, I did survive, and am now back at the hostel, resting my weary feet.  I SHOULD go out and do something else tonight with my last few hours in Dublin . . . but my body hurts and Dublin’s really not very impressive of a city anyway. 

In other news, off to Belfast tomorrow, and on Friday I booked a tour (oh my gosh, yes, *I* am taking a tour, I who hate tours with all that is in me; but I have to do it if I want to see Carrickfergus Castle, the Rope Bridge, and the Giant’s Causeway, which are all 1.5 hours outside of Belfast). 

But seriously, aside from fearing death and contemplating death and wishing for death so the pain/hike would end, the Irish coast really is beautiful.  Very romantic.  Definitely preferred the little fishing town of Howth to big city Dublin, but that really isn’t surprising; I tend to prefer smaller towns while traveling to big globalizing cities. 

On another note, because I”m on a roll and doing a pretty long blog entry right now, there are TONS of redheads here.  Like, tons.  I thought it was a stereotype.  All this time I’ve been all smarty-pants, telling people “Actually, Irish tend to be dark-haired; there are more redheads in Scotland.”  Maybe there are, maybe there aren’t, but there are definitely many, many natural redheads here.  Especially children.  Judging by families, it looks like lots of kids are born redheads and then their hair turns darker when puberty hits.  But still, my hair plus the fact that I’m carrying a purse instead of a backpack means a lot of people keep thinking I’m a local and then are severely disappointed when I start speaking. 

Also, Howth is a fishing village, and I got to walk around the pier and along this seawall thing, where the wind almost blew me into the water.  And seafoam kept flying up and drifting and then landing, all congealed, on the sidewalk.  I didn’t realize seafoam congealed like that.  But then it just makes me think of the Little Mermaid (the REAL one, by Hans Christian Anderson, not the happy Disney movie), and so I was afraid to touch it. 

ALSO, interesting observation: not many dogs here.  There are some; I saw some in Howth.  But as for Dublin, hardly any at all.  Very unlike England and mainland Europe where there are dogs EVERYWHERE.  Possibly because there aren’t many parks in Dublin; I suppose if I chilled by St. Stephen’s Green longer I’d probably see more.

Okay, naptime.  Geez, 7pm already?!

thought y’all might care

I splashed drain cleaner onto my face today and it burned me.  It’s not going to scar or anything, but enough that it hurt like hell and I was scolded into standing with my face under the faucet for ten minutes, snorting water. 

In further news, suggestions on best way for me to bleach my skirt without a washing machine?  I was going to do it in the sink but a.) my bathroom is VERY poorly ventilated and b.) same scolder lectured me about how then I would have to scrub down my sink because I wash my dishes there.  Bath tub? 

I am droooooooooowning in finals but eh, what’s new.  Next week is the last week of classes and then a week of finals and then dunzo, thank GOODNESS.

Avoided the Boston marathon this past weekend by chilling in Cambridge the entire time.  Even had a slumber party with Diana.  I just . . . Newbury St. on a normal weekend with tourists is bad enough but there were like a thousand extra people.  The city was crawling with them.  Tourist infestation.  That you aren’t allowed to step on.  Though I did vocally growl at two.  If you roar like a lion “RAWR” at idiots on the sidewalk, they aren’t offended, they are just severely confused and get out of your way.  True story, it works.

I am a cranky old lady at 21.  I’m just going to go back to my crumpets and knitting and hair rollers and rose perfume. 

. . . . actually I have to go read about Darfur and write a paper.  And it’s 1:12 AM.  And I also meant to get my American Drama paper written tonight and did NOT, but I can’t write it tomorrow because I will be in the dark room all day and then have some homework for Thursday’s classes. 

Mom is coming to visit Sunday.  I hope you do not expect a spic-and-span clean apartment.  I will tidy.  That is all I have the spirit for.

EDIT: The scolder has yelled at me for the bathtub suggestion.  He wants to know if I want to kill myself.  No, I just want my skirt and my tank tops that I spilled coffee all over to be white again.

windows take a year to fixtrue

truefact.

I have been mentioning to my landlord and calling into facitilies since I MOVED IN SEPTEMBR 1st about my broken window.  I just called again because it is 65 degrees outside and beautiful and I would like to have my window more than 5 inches open.  I was told “we are waiting for parts.”  “Since September 1st?”  “Sometimes these things take a while.” 

If it isn’t fixed within a week, I am going to “fix” it myself.  Not kidding.

Also, gold stars to Mom for quite possibly saving my weekend and my photo final grade. 

Saw Godspellw ith Diana last night at a convention center that is within walking distance of our new apartment for next year, in South End.  It’s such a cute neighborhood.  We are going to have way too much fun.  Our apartment is SO cute and in a creepy looking brownstone.

Birthday party tonight. 

Did I mention my electricity went out momentarily again?  I was in the shower an suddenly everything went dark and I thought, “Well I am naked; what do I do now?”  So I continued to shower and it came back on within a few minutes, but it blew up my hairdryer so I had to buy a new one today.  That kinda sucked.

Just got back from running and I’m all sweaty and gross, so I’m going to go do some kickboxing and then prepare for Indian food dinner date with Frank and then birthday party.  I keep thinking of other random things I haven’t blogged about because I’m just too wicked busy.  Was home for 19 hours for Easter last weekend, haha, with 11 hours of flying.  I do the dumbest travel things sometimes.  Ugh. 

Also, this morning with Diana discovered a bus that basically goes directly between my apartment and Central, where both her and Frank live.  Could have been saving myself SO much time with that . ..  well now I know!

Okay, but seriously, I’m yucky and sitting down right after working is giving me a headache, so I’m going to go finish.  Hooray for beautiful weather; let’s hope it sticks!!  Off to continue enjoying my 4-day weekend!

happy april!

I had a wonderful time last night, even though it meant I was, for the third night in a row, only able to snag about two hours of sleep before time to start the day.  Classes went well, and even though I feel physically exhausted, I’m not really sleepy.   It was supposed to rain all day but it was pretty and sunny until only a short while ago.  The coffee shop downstairs had its grand opening today, which meant FREE COFFEE.  I came home for lunch to find a beautiful flower arrangement from Mom and Jerry for Easter/my birthday next week AND a birthday present from Aunt Kathy and Uncle Dan.  I haven’t opened it yet.  I don’t think anything exciting is actually going to happen for my birthday this year, even if it is 21.  It’s on a Wednesday in the middle of the most stressful month of the schoolyear.  I might go home for Easter the following weekend, in which case I could go celebrate with Texas friends, but everyone is really too busy to do anything here.

The only downsides to the day really are that I really AM exhausted and I still have a big paper to write tonight.  I talked to my photography professor about my unhappiness with having a B and we talked about what I can do.  I have to reshoot my large format project, which sucks because that means completely redoing a photo project WHILE I’m also trying to do the final photo project (which is more work, of course, than a normal project) –that’s shooting, processing, and printing.  Plus I have final papers for all my classes, second papers for two classes, another piece of fiction to write and workshop, two final exams to study for, not to mention all the daily class work.  PLUS, I really would like to have submitted at least two pieces to things for publication by the end of the semester.

Oh, and less than a month to do all of that. 

Anyway, here are pictures of the flower arrangement from Mom and Jerry, the ridiculous LACK OF CARE INSTRUCTIONS that I was given (apparently I’m supposed to just have some sort of maternal plant instinct), and the plant I bought with Thomas while he was visiting on St. Paddy’s day.  That photo was taken TODAY, meaning it is STILL ALIVE.

I’m quite proud of myself.

Dear Jessa,

What was the creepiest thing that happened to you today? -Your favorite reader.

Dear favorite reader,
The creepiest thing that happened to me today was that, while folding my laundry at the laundromat, I looked up and saw a guy watching me.  And he continued to watch me.  The entire time I folded.

It cost me $22 to do my laundry today.  BUT I shot my medium format project while I was there.  Also turned in my DVR box , figured out my schedule for next semester, picked up camera equipment to do my two projects, bought more film, AND just placed my first order with Peapod.  Groceries carried into my apartment on Sunday.  Now I’m going to go do a bit of homework and then write some. 

And that, my children, is what you call a productive day.

a little good, a little bad

I am discontinuing my television services right now.  This is so sad.  I am slipping into poverty, lol.

I say, sitting in the window of my Newbury Street Apartment.

Real life upcoming events are overwhelming me.  Classes are preventing me from being able to start my career, but I have to have my career started in order to decide what I want to do after school.   Not to mention, I don’t currently have time to breathe.  Preparations for my BFA and Honors Senior Thesii (plural of thesis? I like how that looks) have to begin because I need to get my project done before I can write the papers, and I don’t even have time to do THAT because of classes. 

My to do list wont’ fit on my dry-erase board anymore.

Tomorrow they come to pick up my DVR box.   Internet on it’s own was $59.99 or I could get internet and basic cable for $52.99, so I went with that.  Now I’m trying to decide if it’s worth restarting my netflix account for two months . . . That’s like $30 I could save . . .  I’m also selling my guitar to buy a much, much cheaper one.  Sad times again.

I’m reverting to my old ways of pincing pennies to the extreme.  I basically am a survivor of the Great Depression in the body of a college girl in the 21st century.

What’s for lunch?  A sandwich with moldy cheese.  Well, I cut the mold off.  But still.  I think I’m going to wait until there is LITERALLY nothing to eat (which is fast approaching, lol) and then do peapod delivery because I don’t have time to actually go grocery shopping.

The only good news in all of this is that I got my student loan reimbursment for this semester, so I finally got to pay off my ENTIRE credit card bill.  I’ve been carrying a balance of a couple hundred dollars every month, which is okay except that I hate carrying a balance.  And now I am free and can see exactly how much money I have. 

More good news. I just realized Adobe never gave me my money back after I returned the incorrect photoshop program.  So I called and got that straightened out, and they’ll be depositing $215.00 into my account within a month.  So there’s that, then the $60 I just shaved off my comcast bill.  That alone could could pay for a trip overseas for me!  Doing good.